Beck Oliver's Diary
by SmilerLizbian
Summary: Beck writes about things that happened and his thoughts in a diary. In his journey to find love? [A little bit of Jori and Cabbie]


**Hey everyone!:{) so...this is a little different...its a story based on Beck's point of view about things and *cough* jori *cough*. Thank you vanillaandtoothpaste!(:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious but I do spy on one of the cast who's in nyc...lol...but seriously.**

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**Chapter 1**

Hey diary... So this is the first time I've ever written a diary because, well honestly? I think they're stupid. But I've been told that it could be a good way to express how I've been feeling, so I'm going to try it... yeah feels weird.

Okay so I'll introduce myself- that's a good start. My name is Beck Oliver and I go to Hollywood Arts. I am single and I really don't think it's my destiny to been in a relationship. Why? Well the only girl I've ever loved is no longer my girlfriend. We broke up. To be honest I blame myself for giving up. When we were together it was amazing but she kinda got jealous easily. Everything was going fine, we did have a lot of arguments but it was bearable until one day it changed. We distanced from each other. I couldn't take it any longer so I just gave up. I guess she and I weren't meant to be.

So who is this girl I was so in love with? Well her name is Jade West. Everyone was always terrified of her so when we started going out, people were shocked. But people couldn't see what I saw, a beautiful and extremely talented girl.

Ok so I sort of lied before. Jade isn't the only girl I've even fallen for. There was another girl who I thought I loved. This happened right after breaking up with Jade. I don't know if it actually was love but I really liked her. One day after school I went to visit her to try and tell her that I liked her and we were sitting on the couch just talking when I suddenly felt all these strong emotions. I knew I had to tell her or at least show her how I felt. We looked into each other eyes and I leaned in, so did she but before our lips touched she stopped. She said that she couldn't do that to a friend. She couldn't do that to Jade. As far as I was aware Jade actually hated her, but for some reason this she never gave up trying to befriend the mean girl. That girl was Tori Vega. The girl who made it to Hollywood Arts by replacing her sister in the big showcase.

Now I don't mean to sound cocky but there are many girls out there who would kill to go out with me. But I don't want just any girl. And I can't bring myself to go out with any of them. Because they are not Jade.

Actually I think I'm gonna give up on love. But everywhere I go I see couples- even in our group of friends. My best friend Andre is going out with a girl named Kiko who he met at BF Wang's. She's a nice girl unlike the girl he dated before who was crazy. And then we have Cat, our bubbly ball of sunshine. She and Robbie are going out and I am so happy for them. They are a really cute couple. And then there's Jade, yeah my first love. Yeah even I was shocked when she revealed that she was in another relationship. Seriously every guy in our school is scared of her. There was this one time that Tori and Andre paid a guy to ask her out and I'm pretty sure he peed his pants. But yeah she's in a relationship too.

That only leaves us with Tori. She's gone out with a few guys who turned out to be complete jerks, but this time she's finally chosen a decent person. And I know for a fact that this person won't hurt her or use her to get good grades. Have you guessed who she's dating yet? Let me give you a hint, combine their names together and you get Jori. Yup it's Jade and Tori. Shocker right? Everyone including me was shocked to know that they started dating. Because Jade hates Tori. But I guess opposite attracts because they've been in a relationship for a long time now.

When I found out that they we together, I stopped talking to them. I stopped hanging out with the gang anymore because I knew Tori and Jade would be there. This lasted nearly 2 months but then Cat happened. She had a little "talk" to me, well that's what she called it but it was more like yelling. Even so, her words made me think. The next day, I came into school and the first people I saw were Tori and Jade. They were stood in the hallway talking to each other and Tori was laughing at something Jade had said. Looking at them I saw the love they had in their eyes for each other and I that's when I finally realised Jade is not mine, she never was. And neither was Tori. She was just a girl I liked and she wasn't meant to be mine either. Jade is meant to be with Tori and vice versa. They are a match made in heaven, albeit a very unusual one. But I can see that they really love each other and I know that they will always be happy together. I apologised to them both that day for being such a jerk. Tori hugged me and Jade smiled and finally the gang was complete again.

So yeah. Everyone in our group is in love. I mean I'm not sure about Andre but I think that he and Kiko will be together for a long time. And then there's me, the lonely Beck Oliver. Maybe I just wasn't meant to be loved. Maybe I'm supposed to go through life alone.

Ok so maybe this diary idea isn't so stupid. I feel good getting this out. Lane was right. Buy yeah.. I'm going to end this here and maybe I'll write again tomorrow. Bye. - Beck Oliver.

P.s. I still feel like this is weird...

"Hi Beck.." a girls voice calls out just as I close the cover on my diary. Just when I thought I could finally get some peace and quiet.

"Hey Trina." I say turning to look at Trina Vega. Tori's older sister.

"I was wondering if you...would like to go get...freezy queen with me...if you don't want to then...yeah its okay..I know you're busy an-" Trina stumbled out an invitation. I frowned wondering what she was so worried about.

"Sure. Lets go. I'll drive you there and send you back home later. Tori just got her license right?" I asked. Trina smiled widely, seemingly in shock and nodded in response to my question. "Good. You can get Tori to drive the car home for you."

Trina nodded without saying anything once again. I guess she was just surprised that I agreed into going out with her. But no... This is not a date. Just two friends hanging out together but then again.. I'm not really Trina's friend.

"Trina?" I noticed that she had the biggest smile on her face. "Yes?" she asked softly.

"Do you want to go to freezy queen now? Or have you changed your mind?" I was cut off half way. "No..no..no...let's go now." she said, grabbing my arm and pulling me to my car.

Well... This could be a start of something new.

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**I like Becky, I totally know how Beth feels about it. Hey Becky tell me what ya think?:{)**  
**Yeah...ohk. weird.**


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